Renovating the Neolodge

Title: Renovating the Neolodge

The Grand Neopian Neolodge: known for decades across Neopia as the easiest way to keep your pets fed for a month, it has seen only the most minor of changes since its conception.

But what if it was something more? What if you could know your pet was truly enjoying their stay? What if there were benefits to your pet's time there, beyond keeping them full?

As it is now, the Neolodge offers you the chance to book your pet a trip of up to 28 days(90 with premium) to one of ten locations. You have the option of adding a number of amenities, the selection and additional cost remaining a flat 5np per day regardless of how high-end a location you choose or what the add-on is. Should you not select the restaurant, your pet will be fed via free room service meals; apparently, the staff can't be tipped for this service. When you check your pet in at the main Neolodge, they provide pictures that will give you a general idea of what your pet's room will look like, but only in terms of layout for the price tier rather than rooms from the actual location.

Regardless of your choices, the result is the same -- your pet will be fed until bloated for the duration. You'll pick them up at the checkout desk when their stay is done. And that's it.

Despite its popularity, the Neolodge has remained an enigma. The best look we've seen of any of the locations outside of the aforementioned images is a few wearables such as the Faerie Castle Collectors Balcony, Royal Neopian Background, or New Years at the Neolodge Background.

Some of the details have never felt quite right to me; it's hard to believe that Faerie Castle and AstroVilla would offer you identical rooms, given the themes the names imply. Not to mention the amenities -- does Fleapit Motel really have a spa? Would the Presidential Palace really not include en-suite bathrooms as standard?

Consider an alternative: You take your pet to the Neolodge check-in desk in Neopia Central. The two of you are presented with an informative brochure that allows you both to browse images and descriptions of the various locations. You read about each option and consider the dingy Cockroach Towers, the cozy Mountain Lodge, or the opulent Presidential Palace -- where they are located, what they're like, and what pets might best appreciate a visit -- and decide where your pet would like to stay. You review the add-ons(some included in the cost of your stay and some for an additional fee), and your pet convinces you to let them choose a few based on their personal preferences -- A Neopian Times subscription for the pet who's reading this over your shoulder, the Fitness Centre for the pet in training, the Restaurant for the Gourmet Club member, or the Library for a bookworm pet.

You hand over your neopoints, give your pet a hug, and send them on a nice vacation. On your return 28 days later, your pet excitedly tells you of their stay, that they've gained two strength points and two agility points from their workout in the fitness centre and pool, gained +4 intelligence from the Neopian Times subscription, won an avatar for staying at that location, and earned some hotel rewards points they would like to spend at the Gift Shop.

Sounds amazing, right?

Each hotel would offer a distinct experience, allowing your pet to have a vacation that suits their personal needs and interests. The different locations would offer their own selection of extras, some included in the cost of your stay and some at an additional cost. Best of all, every one of them would offer a benefit that would make it worth your neopoints to choose.

Every location would offer their own interpretation of the services as needed. The Mountain Lodge would have trouble keeping a swimming pool heated, so it has been replaced with a skating rink. At budget-friendly locations, "laundry service" means access to the laundromat, leaving your pet to do their own laundry, while others only require they leave a bag of dirty clothes by their door that will be returned clean and neatly folded by the end of the day.

For any concerned about a potential price increase resulting from these changes, I will say right now that the base rate of staying at an Economy Neolodge with no extras will remain unchanged. There won't be any of the deluxe benefits, but you won't need to pay the deluxe rate.

The Neopian Times will be delivered to any Neolodge, at a flat weekly cost(regardless of hotel rating) rather than charging them daily for something that only comes out once a week. Each Friday, if the option has been selected, your pet gains +1 INT for reading the issue.

Aquatic pets who might otherwise have to spend their vacation being carried between their room's bathtub and the pool will be thrilled to learn that a Maraquan location has opened that caters to their needs.

Bookworm pets can save a bit of luggage space their TBR pile would otherwise occupy, as many branches of the Neolodge now offer guests access to a library. They can earn a +1-2 intelligence boost per week -- plus a chance of reading a volume from a list of books exclusive to the Neolodge that count toward the Book Award.

Avatar collectors will want to pack their trunks and plan a world tour over the next few months -- if your pet stays a full 28 days (no early checkouts) at any Neolodge, they'll win an avatar exclusive to that location!

If your pet enjoys training for the Battledome, they'll insist on the add-ons that have the potential to earn them stat boosts! Each hotel will have fitness options that may not directly correspond to the hotel's overall standing -- Ye Olde Ship Inn, for example, will have a five-star fitness centre, as an arrangement has been made with the local training school to allow pets to use their facilities. Signing up your pets will bring a chance at a random boost to one of your pet's stats(0-2 points per week for the lowest rated facility, depending on how much they feel like working out on vacation); the better the hotel's facility rating(and the longer your stay), the higher the potential boost. The Swimming Pool and Tennis Courts will provide an alternate way of your pet getting some exercise, but won't offer a full workout. Those who prefer swimming will find it helps build their strength, endurance, or movement. Tennis, meanwhile, is more suited to endurance, movement, and defence.

All stat boosts will only be awarded at the end of your pet's stay, applicable to a 14-day minimum stay, and checking out early will reduce their odds. No refunds.

Of course, all of these extras will cost a bit more than the previous flat rate of 5np per day, but wouldn't you say your pet is worth the extra NP?

While brainstorming this idea, I initially thought your pet might bring home items from each stay corresponding to the services you chose -- a pillow mint for maid service, or a grooming item for the grooming parlour. But I realized this would only lead to a flood of junk items in your inventory each moth. Instead, you will earn Neolodge Reward Points at the end of each stay (a base rate appropriate to the level of your location plus a few for each add-on). When your pet checks out, you'll be able to visit the Neolodge Gift Shop to decide what you want to spend them on!

The Gift Shop can only be accessed after a minimum stay of 28 days with at least one pet, and will be similar to plot prize shops in function. Options range from the low point value pillow mint or tiny bottle of shampoo to wearables like a sauna towel or a postage-paid postcard that can be placed in your stamp album. Some will be exclusive to the location you selected (would your pet like a readable opera program or wearable opera glasses from Hotel Opera?). Most will be approximately as tacky as you might expect to buy in a hotel gift shop, though the higher-end hotels offer a nicer selection -- say, a cozy hotel robe from the Presidential Palace, or Royal Neopian slippers.

Economy hotels offer fewer options, to spare every expense; they don't offer the spa, sauna, Jacuzzi, or maid service that the fancier hotels do.

Fleapit Motel and Cockroach Towers might not provide the most comfortable stay, but they do give you a 0.1% chance of having a petpetpet clinging to your pet when they get home . . . and a 5% chance of them coming home with NeoMites.

Cockroach Towers ☆ You get what you pay for!

Found on the outskirts of Meridell, you might find the name to be a misnomer, given that it's the shortest building of the various branches. Fun fact: the name was actually chosen due to its proximity to the Tower of Turnips. The other half of the name refers to its founding by the Bug Brothers' slightly more reputable cousins. In truth, you're far more likely to spot a Vernax or three in your room than a cockroach!

If I had to name one plus of this hotel, it's the fact that the lack of proper lighting makes it easier to ignore the scuttling out of the corner of your eye. Should your pet enjoy hiking in the great outdoors, this location offers them little motivation to remain indoors on days when the Rubbish Dump is upwind.

Your pet's room will offer a view of either the aforementioned Tower or the nearby Rubbish Dump, depending on which side of the building you're on. It includes a twig bed with potato sack mattress, a matching twig chair, and flimsy table. The window will provide plenty of fresh air (no glass), though at least the shutters can be closed if it's raining

Restaurant: Included in the cost of your stay; room service is not available. The standard offering is a pottage made from local produce(heavy on the potato and turnip) with a side of flat bread, though occasionally staff will find a stray cheese wheel to add. Not to worry if your pet would like something more -- King Skarl's generosity will frequently expand the menu somewhat.

Burger Bar: None

Fitness Center: ☆; Mostly involves hauling large rocks out of nearby fields at the request of local farmers, which technically counts as strength training.

En-suite Bathroom: Optional, and the lack of indoor plumbing means you probably don't want to select it if your pet has a sensitive sense of smell. This goes double if you're not on the top floor.

Grooming: None

Swimming Pool: Really stretching the definition; more of a pit that may or may not have water in it, depending on the recent weather. I do not recommend diving.

Tennis Courts: No net or equipment is available, though the outline of the court can be found drawn in chalk, if they bothered to redraw it after the last time it rained.

Laundry Facilities: Self-serve only; involves a washboard by the river, tiny bar of soap, and a clothesline.

Library: None

Gift shop:

Tiny Bottle of NeoMites Shampoo (medical cure) To get rid of any hitch-hikers who accompany your pet home

Tiny Bar of Soap (grooming) Helps keep your pet clean. . . er than without it.

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home

Neolodge Potato Plushie (plushie) Made from genuine potato sack!

Neolodge Flour Sack Shirt (wearable) Far more comfortable than a potato sack shirt!

Cockroach Towers Stationary (school) Upcycled from old paper found at the rubbish dump!

Pack of Crispy Vegetable Sticks (food) A delightfully crunchy snack!

Lice-Infested Neolodge Hat (wearable) Trying on hats in gift shops is always risky.

Greetings From Cockroach Towers Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Cockroach Towers Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Cockroach Towers Background(wearable)

Fleapit Motel ☆ Caveat Emptor!

Located near the outskirts of Bogshot in Brightvale, this hotel is a sturdy multistory stone building with fine glass windows. While the name may be off-putting, some find it reassuring that they at least manage to keep the larger pests out.

Despite the Motel's less than stellar reputation, King Hagan saw an opportunity to improve conditions here by offering a scholarship for Brightvale University students who contribute to the location in some way. For example, the Art 101 course provides the Motel with a lovely way to cover water stains and other damage to the walls. I advise selecting a room that has a maximum of four paintings; especially avoid rooms with a line of paintings positioned edge to edge from floor to ceiling.

Your pet's room will feature a rustic wooden bed with a straw mattress, matching table and chair, and a rug whose shade is probably not its original colour. You might be confused by the creaking of springs when sitting on the bed, given the mattress contains only straw, but the bed frame supports it with a piece of canvas attached with springs. This is probably more comfortable than if it were solid wood, though I suspect a solid wood bed would also cost them more.

Restaurant: Included in the cost of your stay, no room service available. The standard menu is vegan friendly and focuses on fresh fruit and berries, including juice and jam. Bread is baked daily and a variety of nuts are available for those who would like a bit of protein.

Burger Bar: None

Fitness Center: ☆; Use with caution -- while they do offer dumbbells and a few pulley weight machines, I doubt anything in the room has ever been sanitized.

En-suite Bathroom: Optional; toilets flush with a bucket and you need to work a pump to get the water, but at least there's plumbing.

Grooming: Available, but chosen less for style and more for decreasing your pet's chances of coming home with Neomites.

Swimming Pool: It has what the staff describe as an in-ground pool, but the water is nearly opaque and I think I saw something moving under the surface.

Tennis Courts: They've painted the outline of a court in one area of the yard, but no nets or equipment are available.

Laundry Facilities: Self-serve only, may leave your clothes smelling musty.

Library: Generously started by King Hagan when the motel opened, it has since added only a few volumes since then. You will find it to be 90% nonfiction, with an interesting selection of outdated textbooks from Brightvale University.

Gift shop:

Tiny Bottle of NeoMites Shampoo (medical cure) To get rid of any hitch-hikers who accompany your pet home

Tiny Bar of Soap (grooming) Helps keep your pet clean. . . er than without it.

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home

Shower Sandals (grooming) Trust me, you don't want to go barefoot in there.

Rag Doll (plushie) You might want to fumigate this before letting your pet play with it.

Unique Neolodge T-shirt (wearable) Brightvale University's Fashion Design students are to thank for this!

Handmade Glass Teapot (gift) Made by Brightvale University's Introductory Glassblowing class! CAUTION: very fragile, do not use with hot liquids.

Dried Fruit and Nut Mix (food) Helpful for keeping your energy up while studying.

Lice-infested Neolodge Hat (wearable) Trying on hats in gift shops is always risky.

Greetings from Fleapit Motel Postage-Paid Postcard(album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Fleapit Motel Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Fleapit Motel Background(wearable)

Cheap Hotel ☆ ☆ You could do worse!

Located in the heart of Neopia Central, the flagship branch of the Neolodge is the only location most will recognize on sight. Your pet won't have an exciting stay, but it's pest-free, room service is available, and your pets will be rested and well-fed. There's some decent art on the walls, and it doesn't appear to be used as a way to conceal needed repairs.

Your pet's room will feature a simple bed, chair, table, lamp, and rug. It's not much, but the furniture is solid and comfortable.

Restaurant: The food is fine, though quality will vary due to their cost-cutting decision to gather supplies from the Money Tree. Staff are careful in their selections, of course -- no rotten or gross food unless your pet makes a special request. Unlike with cheaper locations, your pet will be able to choose from at least five different menu items.

Burger Bar: Their options are limited(though do include veggie burgers), but it's nice to have something made-to-order.

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆; Some of the equipment might have a little rust and it doesn't have a lot of variety but it's mostly functional and clean.

En-suite Bathroom: Optional, but clean and with full plumbing.

Grooming: If you select this, your pet will be used as a test subject for trainees from the Neopia Central Beauty School. Results vary.

Swimming Pool: Actually a pool, and I have been assured that they have someone skim it out daily.

Tennis Courts: Close enough. There's a flat space with painted lines, a torn net, and (at the time I visited) one tennis ball that looks like someone's been chewing on it. BYOR*

* Bring Your Own Racket

Laundry Facilities: Self-serve only, but includes functioning washing machines and dryers.

Library: Mostly contains volumes the staff have gathered from the Money Tree, but occasionally another guest will leave a book they found boring on a shelf in the lobby.

Gift shop:

Tiny bottle of shampoo (grooming) Just enough to get your hair clean.

Tiny Bar of Soap (grooming) Helps keep your pet clean. . . er than without it.

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home

Neolodge Towels (gift) About the most massively useful thing a hotel guest can have.

Tacky Neolodge T-Shirt (wearable) Let everyone know where you spent your vacation!

Neolodge Magnet (gift) WARNING: keep away from robot pets and petpets

Misshapen Plushie (plushie) We are not entirely sure what species this is supposed to be, but it's adorable.

Neolodge Hat (wearable)

Neolodge Mug (gift)

Chee-Zee Crisps (food) Snack time!

Greetings from Cheap Hotel Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Cheap Hotel Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Cheap Hotel Background (wearable)

One fun surprise: if you stay at the Neolodge the week of Usukicon, you have a chance of finding a Usukicon Goodie Bag in this location's gift shop.

When staying at luxury hotels and above, your pet's visit to any qualifying location will include a few benefits:

* en-suite bathrooms are the standard, and included in the cost of your stay.

* Pets staying at these locations will also experience a slight mood boost for the duration of their visit.

Mountain Lodge ☆ ☆ ☆ Your relaxing home away from home.

Located in Happy Valley, this cozy and rustic branch of the Neolodge should not be underestimated. While it might only be a three-star resort, their spa and sauna are easily the best available and the views are the most breathtaking on Neopia. If your pet loves winter sports, followed by warming up by the fire with a mug of their favourite beverage (or taking it easy and skipping right to the fireside treat), the Mountain Lodge is your best choice.

The rooms are small but comfy, and feature a bed piled with Gnorbu wool blankets and a handmade quilt, a sturdy wooden chair and table, fur rug, a private fireplace (firewood restocked daily), and skewers for toasting marshmallows or making s'mores (supplies available at the gift shop). Unheated rooms are available for ice or snow pets.

Restaurant: While a menu of snow foods is available, most prefer the hot soups, stews, and other dishes that really hit the spot on a chilly day.

Burger Bar: It offers a reasonable selection of toppings and your choice of chicken, veggie, or beef burgers.

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆ ☆; The indoor options are limited, and are mostly provided for those who get stir-crazy when storms keep them inside. Fair warning -- the long-term residents like to try to convince new arrivals that "Dodge the Snowager" is part of the standard training routine. It is not, and this practice is likely to result in a trip to the healing springs.

Maid Service: None, but rooms are cleaned between guests.

Jacuzzi/Spa: The lodge was built near a natural hot spring, providing a lovely warm soak to ease your muscles after being out in the cold; a massage after is great for avoiding cramps after a day on the slopes.

Sauna: The steam room is another must -- many find it to be rather invigorating.

Grooming: None; most visitors consider hat hair inevitable, so there's no real demand for it.

Swimming Pool: Substituted with a skating rink.

Tennis Courts: Substituted with a ski/snowboard pass.

Laundry Facilities: Self-serve only, but an attendant will assist if you have any trouble.

Library: You'll definitely want something to read, should you be snowed in, and they have a good selection.

Gift shop:

Tiny Bottle of Hydrating Shampoo (grooming) Helps undo the damage from windchill.

Tiny Bottle of Fur Oil (grooming) Seal in the moisture to keep your pets fur in top shape!

Tiny Bar of Moisturizing Soap (grooming) Keeps your pet clean and their skin healthy.

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home.

Neolodge Towels (gift) About the most massively useful thing a hotel guest can have.

Pillow Mint (candy) Sweet dreams!

Cozy Companion Plushie (plushie) Heat up the insert, tuck it into your plushie, and it will keep you warm through the night!

Sauna Towel (wearable) You probably need to wear more than this in the rest of the Neolodge.

Neolodge Winter Hat (wearable) If your hat blows away while on the slopes, you will need a replacement!

Neolodge Mug (wearable) Remember your visit with every cup of cocoa!

Fireside Blanket (wearable) Stay cozy!

Furry Slippers (wearable) To keep your toes toasty warm.

Smore Kit (baked) Follow the instructions for perfectly roasted melty goodness!

Greetings from the Mountain Lodge Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Mountain Lodge Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Mountain Lodge Background (wearable)

Ye Olde Ship Inn ☆ ☆ ☆ Yer visit will be a fair sight better than sleeping with the fishes!

Solidly anchored off the coast of Krawk Island, this ship might not have the classiest accommodations, but it's a must for anyone looking to train their pet. Some might fear the condition of a hotel that was converted from an old pirate ship, but I assure you the ship has been sanded down and painted nicely to minimize the risk of splinters.

Your pet's quarters won't be the most spacious, but will be perfectly clean and well-maintained. The beds being hammocks might seem crude in concept, but are very comfortable and nicely padded. My pets found it relaxing to be rocked to sleep at night by the gentle swaying of the ship. The only window is a porthole, which doesn't offer much of a view, but you can open it to allow a sea breeze in. Be sure to latch it securely if there's a storm on the forecast!

Restaurant: Meals here will focus on the region's specialty of fresh fruit and seafood, though I was pleasantly surprised to find they offer pizza as well.

Burger Bar: Offers several choices of seafood or vegan burgers, with a variety of locally-sourced toppings.

Fitness Centre: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆; The Neolodge has an arrangement with the training school on Krawk Island to allow your pet to use their facilities. Your pet won't get the full personalized training experience codestones are required for, but will be able to use the equipment and grounds when available.

Maid Service: None, though rooms are cleaned between guests. Otherwise, ye'll need to swab out yer own quarters.

Jacuzzi/Sauna: If you notice a bubbling area near the "pool", remember: they do not have a Jacuzzi. The ambient temperature and humidity is high enough that a sauna would be redundant.

Grooming: None, unless you want help tying your bandana.

Swimming Pool: Technically a partitioned section of the ocean. Adds an extra challenge to your routine if you need to dodge a giant squid!

Tennis Courts: Substituted with beach volleyball.

Spa: None

Laundry Facilities: Self-serve only, facilities located on land.

Library: Small, but they do offer a few volumes on topics such as pirate tales, songbooks of sea shanties, training tips, and shipboard life.

Gift shop:

Tigersquash Soap on a Rope(grooming) Keeps it from slippin away in the shower

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home

Neolodge Pirate Bandana (wearable) Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee!

Distressed Neolodge T-Shirt(wearable) Carefully ripped to keep ye from lookin like a greenhorn

Pirate Weewoo Plushie (plushie) Only a true pirate be brave enough to admit to cuddlin their plushie!

Seafarers Spyglass(toy) See all the way to the horizon! Or at least the other side of the room.

Dry-Roasted Edamame (food) High in protein, these will keep your energy up while training!

Neolodge Water Bottle (wearable) Stay hydrated!

Neolodge Grog Mug (wearable) This really hits the spot after a long day of training!

Metal Detector (battledome, once per battle. Lists all your opponents weapons. 1P only.) Perfect for finding buried treasure! Or the ring you lost in the sand.

CalaBASH (battledome, once per battle bomb; 10 icons earth, 10 icons water, 10 icons fire) This gourd contains a surprise for your enemies . . .

Ginger Tablets (medical cure) With any luck, this will settle your stomach.

Greetings from Ye Olde Ship Inn Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Ye Olde Ship Inn Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Ye Olde Ship Inn Background(wearable)

Hotel Opera ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ The seat of sweet music's throne!

Located in the heart of Neovia, this hotel is the accommodation of choice for the more cultured Neopet. Your stay includes a weekly ticket to a performance of either the currently running opera or the Neopian Philharmonic(+2 INT/week). It's best to avoid the cellar -- some years back, there was an incident involving an eccentric Chia living down there, and the management is still working on clearing out all the traps he left.

Your pet's room will feature a lovely four-poster bed with a feather mattress, matching end table, gas lamps, wardrobe, elegant wooden desk and chair, and an antique sofa. The floor-length mirror is very convenient for ensuring your classy opera outfit is perfect. For those concerned about issues related to trying to sleep in an active opera house, rest assured that the rooms are fully soundproofed, so late performances or rehearsals won't disturb your rest. The bathroom features ceramic fixtures, including a lovely clawfoot bathtub.

Restaurant: They serve the finest Neovian cuisine, with fresh pastries brought in daily from the Crumpetmonger.

Burger Bar: None

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆ ☆; It was clearly designed for performers to stay in shape, as the focus appears to be on building endurance (for long performances), lung strength and breath control (loud singing for extended periods is harder than you might think), and strength (for occasionally lifting a fellow performer). The fencing instructor on staff is very talented, though -- don't forget to book a lesson!

Maid Service: Optional; I declined after overhearing the maids gossiping about things they had seen in the guests' rooms.

Jacuzzi/Sauna: None

Grooming: Be sure to book early if you want your pet's hair styled before attending the weekly performance, because those spots fill up fast.

Swimming Pool: The pool area features some beautiful stonework, and I found the spring water filling it to be quite refreshing to swim in.

Tennis Courts: Acceptable enough, but nothing special.

Spa: Limited services, largely related to the local mineral spring.

Laundry Facilities: Full service only

Library: It offers an excellent selection from the Neovian Press, along with a few volumes donated from locals' private libraries.

Gift shop:

Pillow Mint (candy) Sweet dreams!

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home

Neolodge Towels (gift) About the most massively useful thing a hotel guest can have.

Opera Program (Neovian Press) You can finally learn what it is everyone is singing about.

Linen Nightshirt (wearable) Traditional bedtime attire.

Opera Coat (wearable) Should your packed attire fail to meet the dress code, you will need this.

Neolodge Opera Glasses (wearable, Neovian Attire) For a better view of the performance.

Opera Singer Bobblehead (toy) Sing! Sing for me!

Treacle Tart (baked) Perfect for a midnight snack.

Silk Ascot (wearable, Neovian Attire) Just the thing to tie your outfit together! Made from genuine spyder silk.

Visitors Guide to Neovia (Neovian Press) For those who plan to venture outside your hotel, find out the best attractions the area has to offer.

Masked Plushie (plushie) Curious. I wonder what lies beneath that mask . . .

Greetings from Hotel Opera Postage-Paid Postcard(album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Hotel Opera Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Hotel Opera Background (wearable)

The Delfin ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Our underwater oasis awaits you!

The newest branch of the Neolodge to open, the Maraquan location caters to aquatic pets who might otherwise be left spending most of their stay in the pool or their room's bathtub. Your pet will be able to spot the hotel immediately on approach (either swimming here themselves or taking the complimentary submarine shuttle) due to the iconic Delfin statues on either side of the entrance. Areas with solid floors are, of course, available for other pets who might wish to stay, but this location is generally sought by pets who are at least strong swimmers.

Each room features a comfortable waterbed, though the definition of this will vary depending on if you selected the aquatic or non-aquatic option. The waterproof closet for keeping your luggage dry is reassuring, though hopefully unneeded. The bathroom is appropriately luxurious; some might consider the soaking tub redundant, but a scrub in fresh water is still appreciated.

Restaurant: Yes; seafood a specialty. Their current chef previously worked at Kelp, so the menu is of the highest quality.

Burger Bar: None; buns don't do well with the high humidity.

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆; limited options if you want a workout that can't be done in a pool, however.

Maid Service: Optional; don't expect your floor to ever be fully dry.

Jacuzzi: Located with the spa in a beautiful grotto.

Sauna: For those seeking a break from the humidity, a dry sauna is available.

Grooming: I advise getting braids, as they tend to stay in place better in the water.

Swimming Pool: 90% of the hotel's public areas might be described as a swimming pool, but they do have a specialized area to keep people from doing laps in the hallways.

Tennis Courts: Substituted with a water polo court.

Spa: While the Shimmery Seagrass Wrap certainly leaves your skin feeling wonderful and looking radiant, it's slightly disorienting to follow it with a dinner that's been given the same treatment.

Laundry Facilities: Full service and self-service; selecting full service means dry clothes will be brought to your room in an airtight container to ensure they remain dry until you need them.

Library: None; an attempt was made, but all volumes inevitably became waterlogged.

Gift shop:

Toiletry Kit (grooming) Just in case you forgot your toothbrush at home

Neolodge Towels (gift) About the most massively useful thing a hotel guest can have.

Inflatable Water Wings (wearable) For those who are still getting the hang of swimming.

Waterproof Delfin Plushie (plushie) Just like a real Delfin, this will thrive in the water!

Sauna Towel (wearable) You probably need to wear more than this in the rest of the Neolodge.

Neolodge Diving Helmet (wearable) For those unable to breathe underwater, this will help you see the rest of the hotel.

Sealed Pillow Mint (candy) Sweet dreams!

Kelp Krisps (food) Eat quickly, while theyre still crunchy!

Waterlogged Library Book (book) I dont know why we thought this was a good idea.

Before They Were Rotten: The Rise and Fall of Maraqua's Footwear Factory (book) Ever wonder why so many shoes turn up while fishing? This volume on a forgotten Maraquan industry will reveal all.

Soaked Towels (wearable, lower foreground) These are only from day one . . .

Greetings from The Delfin Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

The Delfin Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

The Delfin Background (wearable)

Deluxe hotels cater to those who wish to treat their pet to a luxurious stay, and will include maid service and laundry facilities in the cost of your stay. You would hardly expect someone staying at the Presidential Palace to deign to wash their own socks, after all. Should your pet choose the Restaurant or Burger Bar, there is a chance they will order a dish exclusive to the Neolodge that will earn them a Gourmet Club point (more expensive hotels will offer higher odds of their menu including such an item).

The Royal Neopian ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Where you'll be treated like royalty!

Located in the Arena District of Altador, this location is dedicated to providing guests with the "royal treatment". If your pet convinced you to splurge on a Royal PB for them, they will likely insist on this location. Its stunning architecture -- inlay marble floors and grand columns throughout -- lets you know from the moment you see the building that this Neolodge is a class above the rest. This location will generally be full to capacity during the Altador Cup, so be sure to make your reservation early if you plan to stay during that time. Being as they are located within the walls of the city, you might not get a view of the ocean or landscape, but half the rooms do offer a nice view of the small park near the Colosseum.

Your pet will find an opulent welcome in their room; marble statues, a silk canopy bed, a full suite of furniture suitable for lounging, and a personal fruit bowl will await. The bathroom features all-marble fixtures. Each room comes with a personal attendant on call, who will do their best to cater to your pet's every need.

Restaurant: The head chef previously worked at Exquisite Ambrosia, before taking a position that would allow him more creative freedom. Don't miss the pomegranate cheesecake!

Burger Bar: Run by a Vandagyre whose stand at the Altador Cup Food Court is a highlight of each summer, you can either choose your own combination or let her make something from her list of candidates for next year's Cup Special.

Fitness Center: Eleven months of the year: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆; During the Altador Cup: ☆ ☆; King Altador felt it foolish to keep the well-equipped training gym at the Colosseum closed up for most of the year, and allows guests of the Neolodge to use the equipment during their stay. During the Cup, however, your pet will be limited to the smaller gym in the main building. It's not a bad gym by any stretch, but between the crowds staying there for the Cup and the inevitable wave of pets inspired to train to become a professional Yooyuball player, they will need to wait in line for any of the equipment.

Maid Service: Provided.

Jacuzzi/Sauna: Polished marble floors in the steam room probably weren't the best design choice; fortunately, non-slip mats have since been added to reduce the number of healing potions they need to keep on hand.

Grooming: Your Neopet will be made over as a classical beauty.

Swimming Pool: The fountain in the middle is a beautiful touch, though be careful not to swim into it when doing laps.

Tennis Courts: Instructors are available by appointment only.

Spa: The two main services are massage and hydrotherapy. Their masseuses are trained to treat Yooyuball players whose bodies are aching after practice, so expect your muscle cramps to be wrestled into submission.

Library: Yes; a curated selection of volumes copied from the Altadorian Archives are offered to educate and inspire.

Gift shop: In addition to the below items, they occasionally stock retired Altador Cup prize shop items that were uncovered in a storage closet.

Royal Neopian Robe (wearable) A regal garment, perfect for a spa visit.

Royal Neopian Slippers (wearable) Grips on the bottom will keep you from slipping on the marble floors.

Pillow Mint (candy) Sweet dreams!

Nougat Nuggets (candy) Chewy nougat covers a whole crunchy almond -- delightful!

Royal Yooyu Plushie (plushie) Even the plushies are treated like royalty here!

Foil swan doggy bag(food) You dont want food this good to go to waste.

Neolodge Toga (wearable) For those who want to emulate the local style (or just look like a tourist).

Sauna Towel (wearable) You probably need to wear more than this in the rest of the Neolodge.

Greetings from The Royal Neopian Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

The Royal Neopian Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

The Royal Neopian Background (wearable)

Faerie Castle ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ Your loftiest choice for a magical stay!

Located in the outskirts of Faerie City, the pink and purple colour scheme of the main hotel might leave some fearing their rooms will be more of the same, but alternate colour schemes (based on the various faerie types) are available. Architecture enthusiasts will enjoy admiring the stonework, and can probably convince a few of the history and engineering faeries to tell them the history of the building and the work it took to preserve its structure during the reconstruction efforts. For pets with the ability, the fly-in entrance is a fun way to reach the check-in desk.

Standard laundry and maid services(included in the cost of your stay) are performed magically. If you pay an additional fee at the time of check-in to have staff perform this service manually, you will ensure your pet doesn't track glitter dust home after checking out.

Rooms are spacious and feature a fly-up loft (ladders available on request). Make sure to bring your room key when you use your private balcony; given the number of flying pets staying here, they realized that having locks on every entrance to the room was a must. All the furniture, including the bathroom fixtures, is faerie-themed. Fair warning, some may find all those wings distracting.

Restaurant: Features a fantastic selection of the finest faerie foods.

Burger Bar: The pork burgers with slices of Everlasting Apple are a nice twist on the classic.

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆ ☆; good for agility training, and ideal for anyone training a flying pet, but not many options if you hope to bulk up.

Jacuzzi/Sauna: Both are available and very serene.

Grooming: Unfortunately, aesthetic options are limited to the full range of faerie styles.

Swimming Pool: Water faeries are available on rotating shifts to provide swimming lessons to any pets who need them.

Tennis Courts: The enchanted ball adds a certain challenge to the game, but they occasionally fly out of bounds.

Spa: Please read descriptions of treatments carefully before selecting -- some add a bit of magic for that extra touch, and when they say your pet will leave with a radiant glow, they mean it.

Library: It offers an excellent selection, and Seshatia is always happy to recommend something for you.

Gift shop:

The Architecture of Faerie Castle (faerie book) Ever wondered how the castle was built?

Faerie Home Beauty Kit (grooming) Even when youre back home, you can feel as beautiful as a faerie! WARNING: Contains glitter.

Faerie Faellie Plushie (plushie) This sweetie just wants to keep you company on your vacation!

Faerie Castle Robe(wearable) A robe fit for Fyora!

Faerie Castle Slippers(wearable) Youll feel like youre walking on clouds

Sauna Towel(wearable) You probably need to wear more than this in the rest of the Neolodge.

Faerie Pillow Mint (candy) Let your sweet dreams take flight!

Faerie Castle Floaty Pen (school) The faerie looks like shes really flying!

Enigmatic Periapt (battledome, multiuse 50% physical reflector) Found in a crater after the fall of Faerieland. Wonder what it does.

Greetings from Faerie Castle Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Faerie Castle Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Faerie Castle Background (wearable)

There are two extra advantages to this location! First, your checked-in pet will be fully healed when they visit the Healing Springs. Second, there's a chance of your pet befriending a faerie during their stay and being given a quest on their way home!

Presidential Palace ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ The finest things money can buy!

Owned by the infamous PJ Grundonn, the Presidential Palace is the only Neolodge to feature a full size Casino (though only pets over the age of 13 can access that area of the hotel), as well as being the only location selling shares on the Stock Market. While this hotel is by far the most luxurious on the list, not all pets are content to sit back and be pampered for their entire vacation. If your pet is inclined to be restless with little to do but spend neopoints and have their every whim attended to, you might want to look elsewhere. It must be noted, while all the accommodations rated four stars and above were perfectly clean, this location kept the floors buffed to such a shine that my pets felt self-conscious about walking on them. This is apparently not an unusual issue, as they offered complimentary shoe covers that would prevent footprints or pawprints from marring the floor.

More budget-conscious owners should be aware that, while the base rate for visiting the AstroVilla is higher, the amenities at the Presidential Palace are the most expensive anywhere. The only location to do anything remarkable with the Neopian Times delivery, your copy will be ironed before being brought to you to remove any creases and keep the newsprint from marring your paws.

A personal butler will greet your pet on arrival, and attend their every need until check-out time. Getting a tour of their suite is probably a good first request, as it's large enough that they might have trouble finding their way around otherwise. Expect it to be large and opulent; frankly, the rooms are big enough that I think an entire Yooyuball team could stay in one without getting in each other's way.

Restaurant: This location boasts fifteen restaurants, though all are approximately 1/15th the size of the restaurants in other hotels at this rating and all offer the same menu. Which is nice if you want a less crowded dining room.

Burger Bar: Yes; due to the high-end epicurean options they use, (they are certainly unique in offering your choice of wagyu or kobe beef burgers grilled with white truffle butter and topped with Purple Potato Apertif), it actually costs more to come here than the restaurant.

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆ ☆; They have all the finest equipment, but it's kept in pristine condition. Many pets have trouble focusing on their workout when an employee comes to sanitize the dumbbells between sets.

Jacuzzi/Sauna: The cocobola wood in the sauna is certainly fancy, but I'm not sure if it added to the experience.

Grooming: Don't let them upsell you the gold leaf hair treatment; given the gold leaf is removed when the treatment is done, your pet's hair won't look as sparkly as your mental image would think.

Swimming Pool: Described as Olympic size, though none of the staff I asked knew what that referred to. Few seem to swim, but the poolside chairs require reservations to secure a spot.

Tennis Courts: Expert tennis coaches are on site 24/7, should you seek to improve your game.

Spa: An itemized price list for specific treatments is included. Be sure to count the zeroes.

Library: Access to a room described as the library is included in the cost of your stay, but the books are actually just an embossed wallpaper on the trompe-l'œil shelves.

Gift Shop:

Platinum Neolodge Keychain (gift)

Deluxe Pillow Mints(candy) Minted fresh today!

Presidential Palace Foot Covers (wearable) For those courteous enough not to mar our floors.

Luxury Toiletries(grooming) You wouldn't expect anything as common as ordinary soap, would you?

Genuine Vacana Wool Plushie (gift) The softest plushie you shall ever find! Not to worry, the fur is ethically harvested via gentle grooming. For display only.

Hair Towel(wearable) For frizz-free drying!

Sauna Towel(wearable) You probably need to wear more than this in the rest of the Neolodge.

Cashmere T-shirt with Gold Embroidered Monogram (wearable)

Mink Hotel Robe (wearable) The height of luxury! Dry clean only.

Official Krawps Dice(toy) For pets 13 years and up.

Gold-plated Replica Brucey B lucky coin necklace(wearable)

Combat Lemons (battledome, multiuse. 16 icons of earth damage. If opponent's HP is not max, does an additional 10 icons of light damage.) If life gives you lemons, cut the lemons in half and shove them in life's eyes! Hope you dont have a paper cut.

Presidential Palace Poker Chips(toy) Souvenir only. Not redeemable at the casino.

Greetings from The Presidential Palace Postage-Paid Postcard(album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

Presidential Palace Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

Presidential Palace Background (wearable)

AstroVilla ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ For an out of this world vacation!

While some might joke that the hotel has no atmosphere, any pet who's stayed here will know it's said only in jest; the experience is unmatched. The base rate of staying here will cover your pet's travel to and from Neopian orbit and the use of a spacesuit for spacewalks. Your pet will feel forever changed by the experience of seeing their world from above, to float unburdened by gravity and see it all below them.

Automatic doors will help you easily access any area of the hotel that isn't restricted (usually due to containing an airlock) or, naturally, guest quarters. A really neat feature is that your pet will be able to unlock their room via an eye scanner! Please remind them to leave contacts at home, they can confuse the system.

The provided room might be the smallest of those available at five-star accommodations, but few pets will want to remain in their rooms when there's so much to experience around the hotel. We advise reading the instructions for the furniture before using them(a good way to spend your trip up), to avoid being surprised by the features you might accidentally activate. Should your pet opt for room service, it will be provided via their own personal food dispenser!

Restaurant: The food is of the finest quality and they offer a surprisingly wide variety of options (though many are freeze-dried).

Burger Bar: The founders realized that sometimes you're in the mood for something simple; the burgers here aren't known for their high-end ingredients or exotic toppings, but for being very good burgers.

Fitness Center: ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆; Being as training facilities in orbit are limited, your pet will have access to the same fitness centre as Virtupets' Yooyuball team! Not only that, but they might just get the opportunity to practice against them.*

*Dependant on the team's training schedule. Opportunity will not involve compensation for helping train the team. All owners must sign a waver before agreeing to this.

Jacuzzi/Sauna: None; they prefer to avoid having uncontained water or steam around.

Grooming: Style options include mutant, robot, astronaut, Sloth minion, and more!

Swimming Pool: None; again, they try to avoid uncontained water.

Tennis Courts: Substituted with Zurroball

Spa: Limited options, but the hot wraps are wonderful -- if your pet's skin gets dried out by the low-humidity atmosphere, they will definitely appreciate it.

Library: Your pet will have a chance of reading a book exclusive to the Neolodge that will count towards the Booktastic Book Award!

Gift Shop:

Magnetic Neolodge Astronaut Slipper Socks (wearable) Why are you upside down?

Freeze Dried Pillow Mint (candy) A crunchy treat to end your night.

Cuddly Cuttlebot Plushie (plushie) This plushie will cuddle you right back! Please read the instructions carefully for when you need it to stop cuddling.

Keetra Deile Bobblehead (toy) You cant pass up a reminder of an unforgettable training experience!

Team Virtupets Autographed Photo (gift) It was a pleasure to meet you, PETNAME!

Official Neolodge Spacesuit (wearable) A step above My First Space Suit!

Quasar Gargapple (battledome, multiuse, 15 icons fire, 15 icons light)*Supermassive Black Hole begins playing*

Freeze-Dried Ice Cream Bites (space food) No need to worry about them melting!

Thermal Protection Shield (battledome, multiuse, 50% fire blocker) Designed to protect a craft during reentry, this shield can take the heat!

Hovering AstroVilla Model (gift) Made from genuine Kreludite, the perfect memento of your visit!

Greetings from the AstroVilla Postage-Paid Postcard (album item) Dear INSERT NAME, wish you were here . . .

AstroVilla Holiday Card (album item) Only available during the Month of Giving, send them to all your friends!

AstroVilla Background (wearable)

Where does your pet hope to spend their future vacation?